Scribbling away.

Prose One

2009-08-31T04:25:13Z

I wake up from another dream, where your beautiful face stares at me with more emotion, more care, then I have ever seen from you in life.
Your eyes, the piercing blue that cuts my heart like a glacier, bare my soul without a word from your sweet mouth. My eyes, like glass, cannot hold onto the tears that fall for you. As I curl myself up in someones front garden. The flowers grow in slow motion as I wait for you to follow. But you do not follow me.
As I disappear from the dreamality.
Stepping back into the norm.

Fifteen

2009-08-23T12:05:29Z

Victim

Mindless endlessness surrounds my soul.
Desperation fills the void,
My self-doubt really takes it's toll,
A way that leaves me most annoyed.

Piercing through my heart it tries,
The thoughts, and rising from the flesh,
Despairing apple of my eye,
Our feelings simply cannot mesh.

~tbc

14th

2009-08-21T14:45:24Z

Blank

My light has disappeared.
Replaced by a wavering candle.
The fog hasn't cleared.
Tear me up with nothing but knowing.
Caught in the arms of a demon.
The angels harsh voice is crowing.
There I am, in the incision.
Visible only to the heart.
I've died to your vision.
Disappointment fails to hear me.
I am second to neutrality.

Poem the Thirteenth

2009-08-20T10:23:37Z

Nothing

Lying here
In a silent room
The darkness engulfs me.
The silence
Lays dormant
as it takes over my soul.
I stare
at the ceiling
too black for detail.
My mind
is in ruins
as I remember my failure.
I think
over again
How I could have been better.
But then
The tears
take over my eyes, and down.
Down, down
Down, down
Down they fall, down to the
nothingness.
And the silence
And the blackness
Remains.

Poem the Twelfth

2009-08-11T07:39:34Z

View

How I deplore
The salacious whore
Who sits down next to me.

How she defines
The way she whines
Is to use trickery.

I do defend
The problems I mend
Doing so carelessly.

Do I resent
The words she meant
Or do I stay caringly?

Poem the Eleventh

2009-08-09T02:33:47Z

Regret

I am a nothing.
A hole in the ground.
A shattered soul.
Not making a sound.
I lie here in silence.
Gritting my teeth.
Hoping the world.
Won't suffer beneath.

I love you. Sick with shame.

Poem the Tenth

2009-07-29T05:25:05Z

Cup.

My smouldering face,
with the tear-filled eyes.
Can't make the pace
for the endless cries.
The useless crime
reaps no reward.
In due time,
I'll cut the cord.
Starting to breathe,
I'll face the day.
Without your teeth
to smile my way.
No blame will do,
I'm too forgotten.
A shameless coup
will leave, downtrodden.

Poem the Ninth

2009-07-22T03:13:01Z

Force

Inside my heart's not going anywhere,
But,I'm forcibly moving my mind forward.
The tears still teeter on the edge at night, and
the urge to pick up the phone still hangs.

But I quell it. I put out the fire.
I lay instead, eyes wide open.
Mind to the ceiling, limbs to the floor.
My personality slips back to me.

Surrounded by pink, and black rejection.
I walk in the sun. My shadow speaks to me.
Staring into the brightness, sun blinded.
I wonder if anything is worth it anymore.

Poem the Eighth

2009-07-21T11:49:24Z

Exclaim

Through the tawny eyes
of the window pane.
I feel the sorrowful
Become the insane.
Blue blue days and
black black nights.
Where my emotions
become my plights.
I lie here
with a widening thought,
My true love
cannot be bought.
For I only love you,
and I always will.
Even when it
comes down to the kill.

Poem the Seventh

2009-07-16T17:25:33Z

Confusion

Crying out silently, and wickedly wise,
I untied my shoes and dried my poor eyes.
Lifting the lid on the small shut out star,
Who screamed out to me from here and afar.

Single and double the messages came,
Until I no longer cared for the dame.
She flitted, she floated, she cursed me a bit,
And all I could say was "insanity hit?"

No longer the wound of the fallen bereaved,
It pierced my ears, hollow, my soulessness thieved.
Feeling thereafter, a million emotions,
And nothing can cure it, not all of your potions.

Lying here, shelled, on the foldaway bed,
My brain, not turned off, siezed and then said,
"Nothing you know, and nothing you do,
Can ever make anyone feel just like you"

<3

Poem the Sixth

2009-07-15T08:29:20Z

Deserted

I live under a rock,
As big as the sky.
Where all the people flock
To watch me cry.

Mounting the steed,
That brought me here.
A painstaking deed,
That fills me with fear.

Feeling the stab,
Of the knife in my back.
People who blab,
Their conscious does lack.

My rock does leak,
With the air of my breath.
What kind of freak,
Should suffer this death?

Languishing now,
And closing my eyes.
With the heart of a cow,
But the brain of a fly.

~

Poem the Fifth

2009-07-12T14:14:07Z

Sleeplessness

Lying awake, without you.
Face flushed by my own self-loving,
and the blue of the computer screen.
Coupled with my mind, over-thinking,
over-reacting.
The unknown, laid out in front of me.
I stare at it, and want to hurt it,
Instead of it
Hurting me.
Knowledge is lacking,
and of course,
sleep.
Bitterness consumes me. My face
is a permanent reminder,
of how much I need you
here
with me.
A permanent cloud of despair.
Which is only marked worse
by
my
lack
of
sleep.

I
need
your
love.
love.
love.

Poem the Fourth

2009-07-11T15:28:24Z

Small Happiness

Silence is broken
and words have been spoken.
And with only hope
I know I can cope.
I see you clear now
and wonder just how,
I ever felt wonder
Drag me asunder,
without your pure light
there is only sight.
No sense to have guessing
A person's love blessing.
This little ray
Gets me through the day,
When tomorrow comes through,
I'll have more'a clue.

Poem the Third

2009-07-11T03:35:29Z

Rubbing my eyes is the only way
to pull the bliss of sleep away.
The sexuality inside my mind
has been replaced with sign and kind.
Flowing away my inner peace
is a rage that doesn't cease.
Anger, worry, moments of calm
All mixed up with a healing balm.
Are you Ok? Are you alright?
I haven't heard from you tonight.
~

Poem the Second.

2009-07-10T12:50:49Z

The Sins of Solitude.

Pry my dead hands, from around your heart.
From beyond the grave, my definite start,
Is clumsy, I trip, I swing, I fall.
I wish I wasn't there at all.

Why do I love you? I ask again,
Because it keeps me calm and sane.
Although the contact dries and wears,
Thinly creeps and wryly stares.

Chewing on a paper cup,
My new-found anger rises up.
For I am not a child or other
person who deserves another.

Watching you with flaming eyes,
Your mouth moves but no sound cries.
This is just a silly game,
Rather the other end of tame.

The phone right now, it doesn't beep,
and in my death I do not sleep.
I'm quite awake, what do I hear?
The sound of nothing's what I fear.

Poem the First

2009-07-10T11:53:13Z

A heart disjointed,
Disappointed.
Love is a menacing beast,
Flee to the space,
commonplace.
Bite my heart in the feast.

Hands are wasted,
unsatiated.
Tears are a pointless flaw.
Eyes are flaming,
master-gaming
won't stop the grinding jaw.

~fin.

Chapter 17a - Going back to old friends

2008-02-22T13:09:25Z

Hey guys, I found this and it's good to be back. Please continue to read and support me! This is just for fun now so don't take anything too seriously! Ok? I don't mean to offend anyone! =]
DISCLAIMER: I dont own the rights etc, plus if any minor details are wrong (month of dates, month of graduations etc) forgive me but it just takes so much longer looking up every single little detail, as long as the year is right then thats fine with me.

NC17+ (WARNING: Underage)
~Continuing from last post, April 2002~
Starved for attention, a 14 year old girl fell asleep dreaming of her sempai. A long, long day proved to be exhausting, and in her dreams anything was possible.
It was pitch black. A figure sitting opposite her on the bed breathed deeply, heavily.
"Makoto" the voice moaned, as light filled the room and Makoto rubbed her eyes as they fell upon a writhing figure on the bed. She jumped up, startled.
"Yoshizawa-san" she breathed, as she saw her, naked, her large eyes looked up at her and her face was full of wonderment. "Makoto..." her voice echoed. "Makoto...". Makoto sat up and, almost frozen, reached out for Hitomi's translucent body. Her hand passed right through her and she jumped. Opening her eyes, she realised she had dreamt such a vivid dream. Her crush was beginning to overtake her. She looked around and breathed a sigh of relief that no-one had seen this. Although she was wrong. Someone had.
This person stepped back a few inches from the ajarly-open door, and wondered what on earth was going on in Makoto's head.
~
Maki was exhausted, this consistent fatigue was beginning to be her demise. She was running through a few songs for her solo album today and it just seemed to never end. She sat down for a second, in the studio, before a solo performance of 'Afurechau...Be in Love' - Her newest single to be released in May was awful. It was the one of the only songs she had sang which she truely hated. It was far too poppy and kid-like for her liking. She wanted to be more grown up with her graduation from Morning Musume and this really wasn't helping. But, like the girl she was, she just shut her mouth and sang the songs. Which is a contradiction of sorts. Country Musume were to be her backup dancers, so she saw the three of them in a corner, almost completely silent leaning against a wall. Maki eyed Rinne and she walked over.
"So whats up? You wanted to talk to me and then nothing eventuated". Rinne nodded.
"Yeah, I'm going to graduate" she said bluntly.
"what!! why?" Maki said, maybe a little too loudly.
"I'm sick of this, we are just consistently being overlooked, and our singles are becoming thin and far between, and I have a feeling this isn't going to get any better. This latest single has us acting like whores, and we can't even use our own members! They have to lend Morning Musume mebers to us?" Rinne seemed mad.
"I just want to go back to theatre, it has always been good to me"
Maki sat with tears in her eyes.
"Goto! 5 minutes!" she got the call from the performance stage manager.
"Does Tsunku know? and the other members?"
Rinne nodded. "But no other H!P members know, I thought I wanted to tell you first, because you are always so kind to me"
Maki nodded and sat quietly. "Thanks Rinne, I know we will continue to be friends after you leave" Rinne smiled.
As Maki and Country Musume went to perform. There was something sombre about the event.
~
Hitomi was left with an odd taste in her mouth after Ayaka had kissed her for the first time. It was a lime flavour. She was craving a second dip in the Hawaiians sweet lips. But hadn't seen her in a couple of days. She was to be in voice training today with the rest of the fourth generation, and two of the fifth who had shown special potential. Ai Takahashi and Makoto Ogawa, Ai's voice was heavenly, and Makoto's dancing was to be rivalled. She had proven that in 'Ai no Big Band' where she was supposed to be Hitomi's girlfriend.
She sighed heavily and popped another pocky in her mouth. The depression had officially taken over her eating. All she wanted was to feel better again. But even after Ayaka's kiss she didn't feel healed. She needed a compadre, a person she could tell everything to, that she could trust, but that didn't come easy around here. There were so many debauched liars and suck ups to the producers, that if she did tell the wrong person, it could land her getting graduated far early then she would want. Also working on the Drama, having to act on feelings for a boy wasn't easy. But she blew them all away, proving everyone that she was a triple threat.
In the voice training, Ai Takahashi's voice absolutely blew her away. Makoto's voice was quite low for a girl, but it was also very pleasant. In the window outside the studio, she saw a comfortly-dressed Ayaka slink pass sucking on a lime. She smiled slightly, and she saw Ayaka eye her and smile as well. She accidentelly stopped singing.
"Yossy!" Rika whinged, as she had just threw off the whole group.
"Sorry!" Hitomi said sheepishly as she went back to the start.
Rika looked out the window and saw Ayaka, and looked back at Hitomi. Theres something going on there. She thought.
~
Kei kissed Mari's forehead and opened her eyes to the tiny girl beaming. "I have had such a great time with you". Kei's face fell.
"What do you mean? You sound like it's over?" Mari looked sidewards, and her eyes started to well up. "I miss Kaori, I feel like I'm doing something terribly wrong, and I don't want to live with this guilt anymore!" she said quietly. Kei nodded.
"I know what you mean, I miss Yuko too. I mean, this was so fun while it lasted, but if we are going to get guilt, I don't think it's worth it. Maybe we are better of as friends"
"Maybe" Mari said, smiling.
Crossing over to the other side of town. Kaori was lying in Yuko's bed as the older woman took a shower. Kaori felt dirty, this had been going on far too long and she missed Mari terribly. Since she had been seeing Yuko on the side, her and Mari's relationship had been flailing to gather momentum. So, quickly, she wrote a short note, grabbed her things and ran out the door.
Seeing a woman run down the street in a neglige wasn't exactly a common occurance in Tokyo, but especially running for so long. Eventually it started to become a bit of a big thing.
"I did not think this through" Kaori said. Looking down and running into the Morning Musume house. Slamming the door.
Yuko stepped out of the shower, drying her hair, and saw her room in a disarray and Kaori disappeared. She saw the messy note, written in lipstick, on her dresser mirror.
'MISSED MARI. I'M GOING BACK, XOXO KAORI'
Yuko sighed, probably not the worst thing that could happen. But she was going to miss that womans overflowing hair on her pillow.
~
Natsumi was reeling, after the past couple of weeks she could not look Rika in the eye after she caught her masturbating on her bed. The awkwardness between them was formidable. After giving the 5th generation a huge amount of advice on how to survive in this house of hormones, they hadn't been talking to her much. They hadn't really been talking to anyone much, they had been keeping to themselves for a long time.
She wanted in, she was wondering why they had so much secrecy and she figured they had taken her advice far too well. She was about to go spy on them when she saw Maki in the hall, looking down. "Oi Maki!" She said casually, running up to her. Just in time, as Maki fainted in her arms.
~
Miki clomped down the hall in massive knee high boots, looking for her prey, She knew exactly where to find her. In Shibata's room painting her nails, or eating sweets. She wondered how she kept such a good figure when she ate so much.
Surprisingly, Miki found her in neither of the places. She looked everywhere, until she wandered past the gym and saw her girl running in short-shorts and a crop, running at possibly the fastest speed you could run at her height. Miki leant against the wall and crossed her arms. Interesting. Now she knew why she was so fit. Rika was oblivious to her spy until one of her mp3 earpieces fell out and she happened to hear someone cough. She looked over and her eyes went wide. "OH!!" She exclaimed and she almost fell off the treadmill. Miki laughed. A whole, hearty laugh that made Rika flinch. Miki waltzed over and cornered the seemingly terrified Rika. Miki rubbed one of her arms, and the hot sweat went cold with her goosebumps. "I know you want this" Miki said huskily. Rika looked away. Trying to avoid eye contact. Miki fixed that by nuzzling into her ear.
"dont, someone might see"
"I guarantee you no-one will see" Miki said slowly, then grabbed Rika's face with two hands and began to kiss her fiercely. Rika tried to keep her mouth closed, but the forcefulness of Miki's lips began to make her open up. Miki pulled her close and the two kissed for a good while before her hand slid up to rest on Rika's chest. Rika gasped and slapped her. Miki shook her head and smiled. "You'll get it one of these days" she said, and bit the air. Before walking away in her trademark way. Rika's flushed face was not only from her working out. But she fanned herself and poured water over her face. "This is getting ridiculous" she said to nobody but herself.
~

Chapter 16: Ishikawa Rika no Hametsu desuka?!! (c/w ~Changing the Mind~)

2006-07-01T13:43:55Z

Mid - April 2002 ~
10:00am -
Large eyes opened to a warmth on the mouth area. A silent scream, and a firm hand clasping over the lips.
"shh! you want to let everyone know that i'm in your bedroom?", the other girl shook her head.
"why dont you just relax?" the stronger woman pointed out, as she began to kiss the sleepier girl. Eventually she pushed her off.
"Miki, what the fuck are you doing in my bedroom and why is it you keep pursueing me like this?" Rika hissed.
"because you want it" Miki said, standing up, giving her a sultry look and walked out. Rika pressed her fingers to her lips and sighed, staring at the door for a few minutes.
~
- mid morning -
Miki walked down the hall wearing a loose white shirt and grey short-shorts, she suddenly bumped into Hitomi Saito, "have you seen Rikacchi?" she asked Miki, "i havent seen her this morning" she looked at her nails. "Miki, you really need to get your nails done, they are so short and stumpy!" Hitomi exclaimed. Miki almost laughed, "they do the trick, i think Rika is in her room" she walked away laughing quietly.
Hitomi looked after her oddly, and went to Rika's room, knocking on the door. "Rikacchi?" she said softly, as she opened the door. Rika was lying underneath the covers curled up in a ball. "Rika! get out of bed! its almost brunch!" she exclaimed. Rika gave an inaudible sound before rolling over and holding onto the covers. Hitomi grabbed the doona and tried to pull it off, before slipping and slamming into the door.
"OW, fine! be obnoxious!" Hitomi said as she walked out.
Rika let a tiny tear fall down her cheek before pulling the doona back over her head.
~
12:10pm
Makoto, Risa and Asami Konno were eating lunch in the dining room waiting for Aichan, Hitomi (Yoshizawa) walked past to grab some sugar. Makoto's eyes widened and she sighed heavily, Hitomi looked back at her with a look of angst on her face before returning to her room.
"all she does these days is stay in her room, i hope she is alright" Makoto said, leaning her head on her hands. Risa patted her on the back, "daijobu, im sure she is fine"
"perhaps.....perhaps she is having trouble coming to terms with her sexuality?" Asami said quietly.
"Konkon! didnt know you could be so blatant!" Risa said, shocked. Asami blushed.
"Im going to go see her" Makoto stood up, she tried to leave but Risa grabbed her wrist.
"dont do it" she warned, "its only going to make you more obvious to older members, and we will never get the trust and respect we wanted". Makoto thought about this for a moment before sitting back down.
"you're right" she agreed. Aichan waltzed into the dining room wearing a big smile.
"Aichan!" Risa shouted out, waving at her. Aichan beamed and went to sit down with the other girls.
"I just saw Ishikawa-san, she looks terrible!" Aichan whispered as she sat down. "Oh! and you know how we want respect, i know how we can get it" Aichan said quietly.
"How!?" Asami said curiously.
"its called manipulation, and treacherous lies, and i know how we can use Ishikawa-san to our advantage" she said. The other 3 girls eyes went wide. "i heard a rumour...that she is sleeping with that new solo singer Fujimoto Miki, if its true, we can blackmail her into talking us up, on punishment that we tell everyone about her little cavorts" she said.
Makoto let out a huff "this is a whole new side of you Aichan" she said, swallowing. Ai smiled.
Rika walked into the dining room and saw all 4 members of the 5th generation staring at her, her heart leapt into her throat. 'what are they thinking?' she panicked. Aichan smiled at her. Rika smiled back oddly. Aichan whispered something to Risa. Rika took her lunch and walked swiftly to the door.
"Ishikawa-san! Sit with us" Makoto called out. Rika froze and turned slowly, before forcing a smile and shaking her head. "Uh, thanks, but I have things to do" she said, and exited before anyone could say any more. Aichan snapped her fingers.
"drat" she commented.
~
"Im so BORED!!" Nozomi squealed. Aibon pinched her cheek, "suck it up" she said, "we cant do anything because we have rehearsals in about 15 minutes".
"for what?" Nozomi said, puzzled.
"For flippin Ai~n Dance no Uta!" Aibon rolled her eyes at Nozomi's forgetfullness.
"OH GOD NO" Nozomi exhaled, leaning her head back "I dont have the energy!!!"
"well too bad!" Aibon said, grabbing her hand, "Lets go!" She dragged Nozomi from her seat and the two of them made their way to the dance hall.
~
It was quiet.
and low-lighted.
A slinky figure made her way through the shadows.
"I want you" she said huskily, and slowly.
"uh, i want you too, but this is wrong, we shouldnt be doing this"
"but what is wrong, usually feels so right" she whispered into the taller womans ear. Before hot lips met cautious ones and the seas of monogamy were plunged into the unknown.
~
"Fuck you" she swiped.
"WHAT was that?!!" Rika said, her voice changing from its feminine tone to a more surprised, and high pitched tone.
"I said...Fuck you" Miki replied.
"why?!" Rika questioned, shocked.
"because, you freakin told your best little buddy in the whole wide world Shiba-chan that I tried to do this to you, and now the whole fucking world knows, you are going to get it now"
Miki snapped. Before marching over to Rika and pushing her through the nearest bedroom door.
"This is Nacci's room!" Rika said, as she flopped down on the bed. Which was a bad move.
Miki walked swiftly over and proceeded to sit on Rika's hips.
"Oh Miki not again" Rika said, almost giving up, as Miki started to grind her hips into Rika, which gave Rika a shock and she emitted a little squeal, before her face turned as red as a tomato.
"My god, are you enjoying this?" Miki asked. Rika shook her head furiously as Miki's hand went to Rika's neck as she caressed it softly, and yet with authority. Rika purred and then corrected herself quickly. "I am not" she said, while not making any attempt to stop Miki's actions. Miki smirked, before she stopped, got up off Rika and walked to the door.
"what are you doing?" Rika sat up and watched Miki half-shut the door before replying
"just making the game even", before letting out a little chuckle and walking away. Rika sat on the bed, breathing deeply as she shut her eyes. Before she knew it she was touching herself thinking of Miki. She couldnt believe how that woman had snaked her way into her head and lingered there like a Tobacco addiction.
~
1:45pm
Natsumi had just finished a voice training session with the 5th generation, who had just come from lunch and seemed very exciteable. She was helping them with tonal recognition, because Tsunku had recommended her as the best person for the job, which she was very proud of, she was assuming he'd pick Maki.
"Girls, one last tip" Natsumi said as she walked out of the recording studio with the gokkies. "Yes Abe-san?" Risa replied.
"dont gossip about other Hello! Project members, at least not in front of me", she drew in closer to the 4 inexperienced girls and said slower and quieter "stuff gets around pretty quick in this place", to which she tapped her nose and began to walk away back to her room. The 5th gen were gobsmacked.
"that was...unexpected" Aichan said.
"Im scared!" Asami exclaimed.
"This is one step closer to our maturing in the Hello! Project, girls, we are going to have to be more discreet" Makoto decided.
They all agreed and went back to their seperate rooms to rehearse and to think.
Meanwhile, Natsumi reached her room and heard an odd noise coming from inside,
"what the hell?!" she said to herself as she opened the door wide and saw Rika, lying on her bed, with hands and fingers in explicable places, and clothes astrewn on the floor.
"RIKA!" Natsumi almost squealed, before a half-naked Rika jumped up and pulled the covers around her. "Natsumi! what are you doing in....your room?!" Rika said,
"oh this isnt happening" she said, before she got up quietly, put on her clothes and passed Natsumi as she walked out. "Please Nacci, dont tell anyone this happened, I trust your secrets" she bowed slightly and left. Natsumi couldnt believe what she had just seen.
"Ahh....i wish it was Maki though" she found herself saying, before looking around to check if anyone had heard, and, mortified, rushing into her room and shutting the door.
~
"Yuko?"
"Yes?"
"Where are you?" Kei asked.
Yuko rolled her eyes, oh gosh baby, if only you knew.
"Um, Im having lunch with Kaori"
Well, that was half-true, Kaori was eating.
"why are you panting?" Kei said, weirded out.
"Uh, the curry is way too spicy!"
"Oh" Kei said, "well I'll see you tonight okay?"
"Sure" Yuko said, hanging up.
"You okay?" Kaori said as she raised her head from between Yuko's legs.
"Im fine, but not so fine because you just stopped"
"Oh..right" Kaori smiled and went back to finish her delicious dessert.
~
"Do you think she knew?" Mari asked.
"Knew what?"
"That you were with someone!"
"Oh! right! God no, she'll never know" Kei exclaimed.
"I doubt that, Yuko has an intuition, and you know it!" Mari said.
Kei nodded, she knew that was true.
"anyway, where to?" Kei asked.
"ICE CREAAAAAAM!" Mari shouted, letting go of Kei's hand and running far ahead, Kei laughed and they went to have what was to be their first official date.
~
Dinner-time
Maki sat down at the dining table, almost falling asleep, she was absolutely exhausted from the training she had that day for her new single 'Te wo nigitte arukitai'. She decided to do something quick and easy. Cereal. That took no effort. She ate slowly as she saw Rinne open the door and walk in.
"whats up?" she said casually.
"tired.just tired" Maki said through a mouthful of chocolatey flavoured flakes.
"I can see that" Rinne laughed, "have you seen Asami?"
"Konno or Kimura?" Maki asked slowly.
"Kimura" Rinne said, "I cant find her anywhere so I thought she might have been hanging out with Rika or Nono"
Maki shook her head. "Sorry, I dont think shes here"
"Well, perhaps I can talk to you then Maki-san? Its important...." Rinne trailed off as Maki snapped to attention. Her tiredness fading.
~
Hitomi (Yoshizawa) sat in her room as she took another strawberries and cream from the packet and sucked it slowly. She felt so depressed. WHY did she like girls, WHY did she feel like she was the only one who was going through this, and WHY did people lead her on?
Suddenly, her mobile phone rang, she picked it up. "Moshi moshi" she said, sighing deeply.
"wow, that is not a happy greeting" someone talked in English on the end.
"Nani?" Hitomi asked.
"Oh, sorry, I was just talking with Mika, whats the matter Yossi? You sound so sad!" It was Ayaka.
"Im just a bit down is all" Hitomi said back. Suddenly, the phone clicked off. Hitomi was surprised, usually Ayaka loved talking to her, oh well. She put the phone back down in its place and slowly drifted in and out of sleep. When she woke up, big eyes were staring back at her. She was surprised, but didnt say anything, she gasped a little bit as sweet candy lips were put with hers, and slender fingers wrapped round her face as she responded to the kiss.
"Yossi, I knew you wanted me" she said, almost tauntingly.
Ayaka. Yossi thought. You want me too..........
~TBC

AHHH! it feels good to update. So what do you all think?

In My Dreams. Volume 1

2006-01-09T11:17:33Z

In My Dreams Volume 1.
WARNING: this is rated highly in sexual themes. NC17+
~
"On your knees Matsuura" a booming voice loomed. Aya dropped to her knees and struggled with the ropes that were tying her wrists together in front of her. Clacks from shoes that started off in the distance,came closer and closer. Then stopped right behind her. A sharp force pushed into Aya's back forcing her on all fours. It was dark, almost pitch. Aya tried to look behind her but a slap across the face forced it back. a soft hand caressed Aya's bare back, except for the bra strap that stopped the smooth continuity. One flow movement snapped the bra from her as it fell to the ground. The ropes that bound her wrists were making it hard to balance. As one hand that knew exactly where it was going, began to work its way around to Aya's stomach and up to her breasts. Aya let out a tiny little squeak, that showed her fright, yet the warmth that was growing between her legs spelled out otherwise. "Miki..please..ah!" she pleaded for her to stop, but in secret, she didnt want her to. She let out a gasp as the hand squeezed and prodded her breasts. Suddenly, Aya felt Miki's hot breath on her neck, and her nipples that were hard from the pure adrenalin of domination were pressing into Aya's back. Aya shivered, "Give in?" Miki whispered. Aya shook her head. "well, theres more we can do about that" Miki said, pulling herself off of Aya's slight frame. Miki ran a single finger down Aya's back, and proceeded to pull down her shorts, being the only thing Aya was wearing in the first place. Aya heard a snip, as Miki snipped off the shorts. Leaving Aya completely naked. Miki crept up to Aya's ear again and whispered "Give in yet?". Aya shook her head. Miki stood up. "Have it your way" she said, as she brought a hand down and smacked Aya's bare bottom. Aya cried out in surprise. Miki continued to smack until Aya's usually peach bottom was bright pink. "You turned on yet?" Miki shouted in a loud voice. "huh...no" Aya said, with a hint of uneasiness in her voice. Miki knelt down and gently moved a finger up and down Aya's open flower. Aya couldnt help but let out a moan. Miki put her finger to Aya's face, Her finger glistened with Aya's wetness. Aya blushed."your body says otherwise" Miki smirked knowingly. "Give in yet" she said with authority. Aya shook her head. Miki licked her finger.
"fine, your call" Miki leant in close to Aya's body until they were almost spooning. Miki rubbed Aya's breasts with one hand, and with the other, cupped Aya's delicate flower. Aya's chest began to heave as she gasped with shock, but mostly with pure white feelings of pleasure. Miki began to rub the pearl that was found beneath Aya's drenched petals. Aya's breath started to have a melodic tone to it as she felt herself pulsating beneath Miki's determined touch.Her body began to heat up as she felt beads of sweat form on her forehead. Miki rubbed her breasts against Aya's back as she let go of her breasts and used her other hand to insert 2 fingers into Aya's wanting cave, which was flooding with her dew. Aya began to buck under Miki's fingers, which started to pump in and out of her body, her breasts bounced as her body started to spasm. "Uh-huh" Miki said, "you come for your master" she said. Miki's fingers picked up speed, and Aya let out a cry of passion, as white hot pleasure rushed from her centre right up to her mind, making her head swim. Miki took out her fingers and let Aya drop to the floor. Panting. Miki licked her fingers, "See you next time Matsuura" she said, as she smacked her bottom one last time and proceeded to walk away.
~
Aya sat up in shock, she looked around, she was in her bed, alone, thank god. She breathed out a sigh of relief and lay back in her bed, Miki?! I guess it wasnt the weirdest she had ever had... She squirmed slightly. After such a dream, she found herself wet and wanting. She looked at the clock, 6am. Time of wake was usually 6:30, that gave her plenty of time to finish herself off before rehearsals began.........................

Chapter 15: Moving along

2006-01-07T03:39:00Z

May 25th - 2002
9:18am
"What the HELL is going on?!" Mai Satoda said as she rummaged through her sock drawer looking for knee-highs. "I have so many pairs of these! i wanted to wear my yellow ones to impress Yoshizawa-san" she said, pouting. Asami rolled her eyes, and went back to reading the magazine she was trying to absorb herself in.
Ayaka grinned and pulled on the yellow socks, she had taken them from Mai's drawers before she had woken up.
~
Maki sat in her room, trying to meditate, she had always wanted to be a soloist, so the graduation wasnt scaring her. Or was it? She had been wrapped in a blanket of up to 13 girls at a time, and now she was going to be set free like a bird flying for the first time. She smiled, but it was an uncomfortable, self-re-assuring smile. Until someone burst in through the door. "Goto!!!!!" Mari screamed, "they have DEEP FRIED PRAWNS at the lunch table today!" Maki shook her head.
"but its not even past breakfast yet!" she exclaimed. Mari shrugged.
"Foods food! better come get it before Nono eats them all!" Mari said, running out again. Maki reluctantly got up and pulled on a pair of sweats before heading downstairs.
~
11:38am
"Michan, dont worry about it, you'll get more exposure soon" Atsuko tried to re-assure the fretting soloist. Michiyo rolled her eyes "my butt, I was the freaking winner of the original contest, and now there is nothing but Musume this and Musume that! does anyone even remember who i am anymore?" she said snidely. Atsuko was surprised by her disposition. Michiyo was usually seen as a woman of great class and who had dignity, well it was now she was letting her true feelings be shown. "Atsuko, did anyone ever tell you, your eyes hold great wisdom?" she suddenly said.
Atsuko raised an eyebrow, "heh?" she said, oddified.
Michiyo leant in and kissed Atsuko's forehead. Atsuko stood up, "Okay, i dont know whats with you, but you seem like you've taken too much valium, how about taking a nap?" she suggested.
Michiyo nodded. "Oh-kayy" she said, smiling dopily. Atsuko left the room, and looked back at the young woman sleeping there, she found herself smiling.
~
"OH GODDAMN!" Miki cussed as she had just slammed her toe into the side of the dresser. a few swear words followed as she stubbed out the cigarette she was smoking on the windowsill and closed the window. Just as a knock came at her dressing room door. "what is it?!" she said blatantly. She turned round and saw 2 heavenly creatures standing at her door. "uh. hi..." she stumbled over her words.
"Hi! you dont really know me, but my name is Rika, Aya here told me all about you!, you are quite pretty indeed!" she said, holding out a friendly hand and a friendly smile followed. Miki quickly gained composure. "Aya, you been talking about me?" Aya blushed profusely.
"Oh shoot girls, i gotta go!" Rika exclaimed, "dance rehearsals any minute!" she ran down the corridoor with her heels clacking as she went.
"What a lovely girl" Miki exclaimed. She looked Aya up and down "so, you want to come in for some sweets?" she said suggestively.
Aya looked down, "i cant, im getting a facial in like, 15 minutes, but maybe later?" She said, as she began to walk away, "bye Mikitty!" she said, "Nyao!"
Miki felt frustrated, she wanted that woman so much, but every time she got close, Aya would come up with some excuse that she had to improve her looks, or her health, or her body, or whatever! Miki was getting sick of it. She grabbed her phone and flipped it open to look at all the Hello! Pro phone numbers Aya had given her. She scanned through them and found a name that appealed to her. She hit Call.
~
1:39pm
A performance had long finished and Hitomi was sitting in her room, indulging on little bars of sweet. Not the best for her, but her long compensating feelings means she couldnt stop herself. A knock came at the door and Hitomi shoved the bar under her pillow. It was Ayaka, sweet-smelling, sweet-looking, candy perfume girl Ayaka. She was wearing these awesome yellow knee-high socks that made her look even sweeter. "Hi Hitomi" She said, "can i come in?"
Hitomi nodded, Ayaka came in and shut the door, which worried her a little bit. "Yuu AA Rookingu berri puritti chudei!" Hitomi sputtered out, english always impressed Ayaka. Who beamed brightly.
"Very good!" she said in perfect english. "But thats not what i'm here for" her face went serious.
"Hitomi, I know you like girls" she said bluntly. Hitomi's head went into overdrive.
"You know?! i mean...i dont!....i mean...umm" she felt her embarrasment rise. Ayaka shook her head,
"dont feel embarassed, you want to know a secret?" she said as she sat very close to Hitomi on her bed.
"I like girls too" she whispered in Hitomi's ear, sending a chill down her spine. She then bit slowly on the top of her ear. Hitomi gasped, half in surprise, half in pure adrenalin. Ayaka looked straight into Hitomi's eyes with a look of desire on her face. She leaned in and kissed her, and Hitomi didnt try and stop her. Her lips tasted like sugar, and Hitomi felt Ayaka's tongue enter her mouth. She massaged it with her own. The feeling made her head swim. Hitomi neglected to realize that, Rumours spread like wildfire within the Hello! Pro.
~
2:33pm
"Grr!!! we'll show you!!" Makoto grabbed Risa's arm and ran down the hall until she felt like her chest was going to explode. "What was that about?" Risa asked.
"Didnt you hear? Iida-san, Yaguchi-san, Kei-chan and Rika talking about us?" Makoto said.
Risa's face went white. "really?! what were they saying?" Makoto looked back.
"they were saying stuff like 'i wonder who will pair up with who?'" Risa's eyes went wide.
"wow, i didnt realize so many people in this record company were you know, that way" Makoto looked at her shoes.
"I kind of am though...i think...maybe" Makoto said.
"I know." Risa said bluntly. "its so damn obvious" She finished. Makoto laughed at her honesty. Airin and Konno were walking around the corner, harmonizing the new single. "I got a good line in the new single too!" Risa said happily. Makoto felt jealousy, all she got was a rap line, when the other 3 got substantial roles. Airin and Konno stopped,
"hey, do you ever get the feeling that the others are kind of..." Airin started.
"ganging up on us?" Risa finished.
"YES!" the other 3 said, almost in unison. Aibon and Nono walked past at that instant, linking arms and giggling like maniacs. Nozomi pointed at one of the 5th gen and aibon laughed, as they skipped off.
"like that! we have been in this band for almost 6 months and we arent getting any respect" Asami exclaimed. They all nodded. "Well maybe we should get some!!" Makoto said, slamming her fist into her other hand. There was a plan-a-brewing.
~
3:04pm
Rika went to her phone, which she hadnt checked all day. There was one missed call on it. She rang it back and a melodic voice picked up. "Hello?"
"Hi! who is this? you rang me before?" Rika said happily.
"Oh, right, its me, Fujimoto Miki" she said blandly.
"Oh! do you want me to come and see you?" Rika asked excitedly.
"No no thats okay" Miki said, until she realized she was talking into a beeping phone. Rika had already hung up and was on her way over.
Miki freaked out. She turned off the TV, made the bed and threw her plastic ashtray out the window, where she heard an 'OW!'
"sorry!" she exclaimed.
There was a cutesy knock at the door. Miki answered it, trying to look as good as possible. Rika was standing there, with that adorable smile on her face. "Hi, come in" Miki said, sounding confident, yet shaken. Rika came in and sat on the bed. "Whats the problem?" she asked.
Miki thought to herself 'well im so damn horny and you are a fine and sexy girl'
"um, no problem" she said, sitting next to Rika on the bed. Rika found it a bit close and found herself moving away a bit, to which Miki moved even closer. "i just wanted to give you something" Miki leant in, until Rika could feel her hot breath near her lips. She was too scared to move away. So Miki kissed her, it began to get heated until Rika jumped up.
"what are you doing?!" she said, wiping her lips. "I dont like girls!"
"It seems to me you like girls very much" Miki muttered under her breath.
'what?!" Rika said.
"Nothing, okay, i just feel an attraction to you, and what i want, i usually get" she said as she crossed her arms.
"well your not getting me!, and dont tell anyone about this!" Rika said as she opened the door and slammed it behind her.
Miki smirked 'anyone? or everyone?' she thought to herself.
Its time to shake down the walls of Ishikawa Rika.
~
NEXT UP: In My Dreams Volume 1!

The Hello! Project Diaries. Volume 1 - Asami Konno

2005-11-27T02:15:36Z

May 23 2002 - Dear Diary
I cant believe what i saw last night, i knew a lot of people were..that way, in this project, but i didnt quite count how many! its almost every second person! and i even feel a little bit that way! is it just this place thats doing it? is it the underexposure to boys? You know whats weird though? Tsunku seems oblivious to it, but when he does catch people, he doesnt take it lightly, and yet, he would rather we have girlfriends then boyfriends! i dont understand him! is he just a pervert?
I tried, well, something last night too, because after i saw Kei and Yuko, i felt curious, and i had heard the older girls talking about it, so i tried it, im not sure i did it right, but it felt okay. i felt a little bit stupid though. Is it better to do it with another person?
Anyway, today was productive, we had vocal training, and i heard Maki singing her latest single 'te wo nigitte arukitai' is it called? anyway, she has such an amazing voice, i feel envy for her. I shouldnt, as i am blessed to be on this amazing journey, but she has such talent where i lack. I hope i can get better to impress everyone, im sick of being known as the 'underdog' all the time!
Makoto can dance, Airin can sing and Risa has spunk and a princess attitude, what do i have? Intellect and chubby face -_-
I should go on another diet, since im feeling such pressure, maybe i should just give in to it.
One thing i am looking forward to is the endless mango pudding i am going to get, all for being curious! haha haa!
I have decided, in the last 5 minutes >.> that i will be more pro-active from now on! i will diet with vigilance, i will sing and dance with determination, and i will get what i want from this! as long as i dont step on any toes. No-one must notice the difference in me!
Kon-kon
PS: new chapter of main fic will be up in 2 days, max!

Chapter 14: All growed up (c/w Confrontation)

2005-10-08T17:28:56Z

~May 22 2002~ 9am
"oh no......." a voice echoed into the bathroom, luckily no-one was there to hear her. The young girl pulled her phone from her pocket and rang the first person she thought of, Ai-chan.
"hello?" a voice asked.
"Hi Ai-chan" the girl said.
"whats the matter?, you sound kind of freaked!" she exclaimed
"I am" said the girl, "i just was going to the toilet and i have...red..spots..on my knickers" she said slowly and in the least threatening way possible. At the other end of the phone Ai stifled a laugh.
"its okay sweetie its just your period" Ai said.
"but ive never had one before! and i dont have any sanitary..products..with me!" she said, almost in tears.
"its alright, i'll bring you down a tampon and you'll be running around again in no time" Ai said, hanging up.
The girl sat back down on the toilet seat and waited, about 2 minutes later the door opened.
"where are you Risa?" Ai shouted.
"hush! dont shout! we dont want everyone to know!" Risa blushed.
"calm down, half the girls already found out anyway" Ai said. Risa t'sked at her. Ai slid a tampon under the door, "you know what you're doing?" she said. Risa gulped.
"not really" Ai rolled her eyes.
"didnt they teach you anything at your school? god at our school we were taught the most vulgar things in the youngest of years!" Ai said, sighing.
Risa opened the pack, "it looks like a plug" she said.
Ai laughed, "thats exactly what its supposed to do too"
Risa screwed up her face, "i am NOT sticking it up there!" she said, with a slight tone of insecurity.
Ai folded her arms, "just try it, and be SUPER gentle, and i KNOW you know where your own vagina is" she said blatantly.
"how on earth do you know that?" Risa said, puzzled.
"lets just say ive seen you....exploring yourself" Ai said, on the verge of laughter. Risa's mouth opened wide, "when!!!?" she said with her voice getting higher every moment.
"a couple of months ago, now stop stalling and stick it in!!" Ai said, "we have rehearsals soon, and tampons let you move around like you dont even have your 'reason' " she explained.
Risa psyched herself up, and eventually got it in after a bit of squirming and shifting,
"you okay in there? you havent said anything in a while" Ai said.
Risa nodded and triumphantly opened the door, "thanks Ai-chan" she was about to give her a hug when Ai stepped away "wash hands first" she pointed to the sink, they both laughed. A bonding moment over something all women experience had brought their friendship closer.
~
-10:30am-
On a music show, Maki and Aya were backstage getting ready for both their solo performances, Maki was going to perform her 3rd consecutive hit 'Te wo nigitte Arukitai' and Aya was going to perform a preview performance of her new single 'Yeah! Meccha Holiday'. They were both good friends, it was so easy to make friends with Aya, even if she was a bit self-involved. The host of the show called them on, and there was an interview part first. "who is your best friend in the whole hello! project?" he asked. Aya didnt have to think twice "even though i dont know her that well, i'd say Fujimoto-san, or Mikitan" Aya said playfully, biting her lip and waving, "Hi Mikitan! its your Ayaya!". Maki had to think about it for a while, "I dont know..." she said, thinking more, "perhaps..well Kaori is the most trustworthy" she said, not really answering the question, she had heaps of friends, but not really any that really stand out to her. She just shook her head. "Okay, if you could be girlfriends with anyone in the Hello! Project, who would it be?" a surprised scream came over the audience, they were all interested in their answers.
"Mikitan of course!" Aya bubbled, "or....perhaps Heike-san, shes very beautiful" she nodded. Goto looked down at the floor, remembering her status, she looked up and smiled "umm, perhaps Natsumi" she said semi-confidentely as she stared down the camera. She had to come to accept her feelings and not shy away from them, because that is the way one gets herself into a bubble of trouble.
The performances went off without a hitch, and then Maki and Aya did a special performance of 'Love Machine' which sounded absolutely awesome.
After the performance, Aya slapped Maki on the back, "you alright? you seemed..i dont know.. a bit down today?" she asked. Maki nodded
"Im fine, just a bit of..sick..stuff"
Aya nodded and ran down the hall. Oh to be like Aya, not a care in the world. Maki thought to herself.
-11:07am-
Yuko sat in the hallway jumping up and down in front of a door, inside, a woman whistled like she had no problems. "Ah" Yuko heard, as the next sound was the opening of a paper.
"you have GOT to be kidding me, you are reading the paper in there?" she yelled. The womans voice yelled back "hey! its nice and quiet! well it WAS, use your own toilet!"
"I dont want to! its being drained, and this one smells and looks nicer!" she yelled back. Someone shushed them, "look, if you dont open the door im going to knock it down and pull you off the seat, bare butt and all, so hurry up!" she hissed.
"geez, no need to get so worked up about a toilet" she said, frustrated, she opened the door and walked away. Yuko paused for a second, and so did the woman, her long..long hair stopping slightly later. "Kaori, you are smelling absolutely gorgeous today" she said, slightly huskily, before walking into the bathroom and closing the door. Kaori shivered, that woman could turn absolutely anyone towards girls. She thought, before stumbling away.
~
-11:14-
Hitomi lay on her bed, waiting for the next rehearsal to pull around, thoughts filled her mind, two older women, standing in beauty with rose petals flowing over them, one, a Hawaiian girl who taught English. The other, a mature looking girl who had a ditzy disposition, but such beauty that overflowed. Then, that image fizzled and went into another image, a younger girl, standing in the darkness, highlighted by a single thin spotlight, who was wise beyond her years, who masked her anguish with endless energy, and who always tried to be true to herself, but on more then one occaison, failed. This girl struck more chords with Hitomi then the other 2 did in earlier times. Suddenly, her curious dream was interuppted by a knock at her door. Hitomi sat up quickly, "Yes?" she said hastily, the young wise one appeared at her door, smiling like a faker. "Hi Makoto" she said, tilting her head in sympathy, "what is it?"
"Um, just wanted to ask if you had any more puddings left" she said, swallowing hard as to not choke on her own heart leaping into her throat. Hitomi almost felt warmth inside her growing just from the most innocent question "yeah sure, here have a mango one, WITH fruit pieces, so you dont feel jipped" she gently threw the pudding at her, "thanks" Makoto said, this time smiling with sincerity.
"Its fine, and Makoto?" Hitomi wanted to reassure.
"Yes?"
"Im always here for you, if you ever need to talk" she said.
Makoto looked deeply touched, "thank you..so much" she said, small smiling, and closing the door behind her. Hitomi felt slightly better, and put away the food she was emotionally snacking on.
~
12:00 noon -
"Come on!! stop it!" The sexy woman shouted,
"No i will not stop! this is who i am and i cant change my ways just for you!" the multi-colour haired woman shouted back.
"oh so your ways is cheating on me? how could you! and with Satoda? my goodness shes only just legal!!" Saito cried.
"who gives a fuck about legal Hitomi! for christs sake! dont try and pull that bull! when i first did it with you you i was only 17!" Masae rolled her eyes, they were having the same fight, again. Always about commitment, Masae was not ready to settle down, she wanted to have fun, whereas Hitomi would have probably had a child tomorrow if she wasnt tied down with business.
"well then, im putting my foot down" Hitomi said firmly.
"whats that supposed to mean?" Masae said snidely.
"i..am breaking up with you!" Hitomi said. walking away, hating confrontation, hating.every.bit of confrontation, if Masae said anything, or did anything, Hitomi would just take her back, and it would be too hard on her heart to keep doing this. So she walked away, then ran, with her hands cupped over her ears 'la la la-ing' all the way so she couldnt hear a word Masae was saying.
Masae had ran after her, but after a while, just gave up, although it was a shock seeing someone usually so sensitive when it comes to relationships, taking her own advice to others for once.
So she stood, just staring off into nothing for a while, until she saw something she REALLY liked walk down the hall. "ah..Fujimoto-san, just who i need"
~
Miki heard someone call her name, so she span around and stopped, it was the 'office flirt' as she was known. Not that Miki had ever had to worry about it. It had never happened to her.
Until now.
"You are looking really good today" Masae said, sincerity in her eyes. Miki held a hand to her chest, "thanks!" she said, about to walk away.
"no dont go, please, i just had a bit of a rough time, with..Hitomi"
Miki's eyes widened. "Saito" Masae finished. Her eyes went back to normal again and she sighed.
"you'll be okay" Miki said, wanting to walk away, but Masae's eyes teared up.
"im a little confused" she said, running a hand down Miki's bare arm, which caused tingles and goosebumps.
"would you like to come back to my room for a cigarette then" Miki asked, emotionless. Masae almost flickered a smile, but remembering she was playing sad. "i'd love one" she said. sniffing.
The way there, Miki hummed 'akai nikkichou' and Masae, trying to create a level of comfort, hummed along with her.
In the bedroom, Miki put on some background music and sat on her bed, Masae blew a smoke ring out the window and sat next to her, "has anyone told you, your face is extremely familiar?" Masae said quietly. Miki raised an eyebrow "thats not exactly a compliment" she said.
"Oh but it is, because it seems that anyone could be your friend" Masae said, reaching for a bit of Miki's hair and pushing it behind her ear. She could see Miki becoming entrapped and thats when she knew she had her. As Masae drew in closer, she leaned into Miki's ear and whispered "ever have sex with a woman?". Miki's heart lept out of her chest, and Masae felt it, putting her hand underneath her shirt to feel her heart beat. Miki nodded, "but i was drunk, and i dont really remember any of it". Masae smiled a knowing smile, and drew her in for a long, passionate kiss.
-1:30PM-
Masae stumbled out of Miki's room, Miki stood at the door, and bit her lip "we are definately doing that again" she said quietly. "no relationship bullshit, just sex, anytime you want it baby" she licked her lips, smiled and closed the door. Masae smiled too, but slightly worried, she had just been with the most dominant female she had ever come across, and by unleashing the vixen within Miki, she was afraid she had opened a door of some sort.
~
Rika sat in Hitomi's dressing room, "oh its okay sweetheart, im sure you'll be fine eventually" she said, stroking Saito's hair and kissing her forehead. Though she was lying through her teeth, Masae and Hitomi were destined to break up, it was so obvious only they couldnt see it. "but why!! why doesnt anyone want commitment!" she said, through heavy tears. Rika shrugged,
"boys, girls, cant really trust either gender these days, perhaps we should form our own 'loving myself' club and vow to chastity until we can really find someone special" she said, an idea coming out of nowhere. Hitomi nodded, "good idea, we will show all those cheaters, Masae and Joeru, OH i heard he had to buy a new car by the way, just couldnt get that prawn smell outta there!" They both burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter. "Good! the bastard deserved it!" Said Rika.
"Hey Rika?" Hitomi asked
"yes?"
"Lets do our nails!" she exclaimed excitedly.
"Yay!" Rika clapped.
~
-2:04PM-
Aibon and Nono sat in Aibons room doing hand claps and eating treats they had hidden away for a long time. "You know who is cute?" Aibon said as she licked a lollipop.
"who?" Nono enquired.
"Konno, she is so cute she makes me want to retire from being cute and give her my extra cute, shes so darn cute" Aibon nodded.
"i think Risa is cute" Nono said back.
"oh YEAH! Risa is classic cute, but you know who is 'girlfriend' type cute?" she said.
"who?" nono said again.
"Mari! if i could have a girlfriend i would DEFINATELY want it to be her!" Aibon clapped her sugary hands together. Nono nodded "she IS cute, but 'girlfriend' cute, maybe Rika i think!"
"Yes!" Aibon said.
"Hey Aibon?" Nono asked
"Yes?" Aibon said.
"I think i'd want you to be my girlfriend" Nono said. Aibon pouted
"now you are cute! REALLY REALLY cute!, hey Nono?" Aibon asked
"Yep!"
"want to take a nap?" Aibon suggested.
"Yes!!" Nono agreed, and they both curled up, hugging each other tightly, on Aibons bed.
~
-2:08PM-
'the wasteland' - by yasuda kei and nakazawa yuko.
"Wow! you and Yuko are writing a story?" Mari shouted, holding up a few pages, Kei came running through and snatched the pages off her, "you cant read that yet, it is FAR from being ready" she said, chewing on the edge of the paper. "Well come on then, its rehearsals" Kei followed, dragging her feet a bit. Yuko had been a bit distant lately, but she was talking to her tonight and that made it a bit better.
Mari pushed and shoved Kei around in dance rehearsals like she was her bitch.
"whats with you! im not yours! you dont own me!" Kei shouted at the little dynamite.
"Yes i do! HA HA HA!" Mari said, pushing her again, "back in shape, back in shape!" she shouted, whisking herself around the dance studio.
Kei walked out.
Mari stopped, and stood in silence for a bit.
"theres no-one here but me..." she whispered. "DO YOU LOVE ME ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOREEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she shouted as loudly as she could before lying on the ground of the dance studio, looking up at the ceiling, it had pens on it, how anyone got a pen up there was beyond her, she closed her eyes, and the first face she saw was that of the seductive older woman.
"ah yuko" Mari unconsciously said. Before sitting bolt upright "whoah...". She hoped she didnt think like that about her again, but once the image had been set, it was there for keeps. Mari hopped up and went to find the girls who sympathised with her the most, the 'twins' Aibon and Nono, but they were asleep! Mari went back to her bed and flopped down on it, before eventually falling asleep too. little did she know what her dreams were trying to tell her.
Or maybe she did.
~
-Approx.9:00PM-
Kei had been standing in the dark waiting for Yuko for ages, when she finally arrived around the corner, "where have you be..." she was cut short when Yuko put a hand over her mouth, and pulled her around the sideway of the house. "i have the best idea" she said, "see how many Hello! Pro members you can find who have slept with other Hello! Pro members" whoever gets the most amount wins. Oh, and also, you cant use Masae Otani more then once" she laughed nervously.
Kei seemed puzzled, "thats what all this has been about? i dont know, i dont like to pry...but..alright, i guess it will be a bit of fun to lift the fact that Tsunku hates me" Yuko suddenly put her hand on Kei's breast, "also, one thing i've never done," she squeezed it. Kei gasped, "do it, now" she said huskily, licking Kei's neck. She bit her lip, and gave in to desire.
~
Asami Konno was getting ready for bed when she heard rustles coming from the garden outside, she felt scared, really scared, what if there was a robber? she then heard other noises, like 'be quiet!' and 'dont make them suspicious!' classic robber quotes, well, Asami felt the need to show the others she wasnt a chicken like she was always made out to be. So she grabbed her flashlight and went outside in her Pajama's. She crept around the side and stopped, what if he had a gun? or a knife?, she wanted to scream and run back to the house into her comfy, comfy bed, but decided against it and shined the light into the bushes, and her eyes went wide.
"oh god"
"busted, by the face of innocence" Yuko said. "konno, if you dont tell anyone about this, i'll make you home-made mango pudding, every day for a month" she said, thinking on the spot. Asami nodded and quickly said "agreed" before running as quickly as she could back to her room. She lay in her bed, her heart beating fast from what she had seen, and it made her feel curious, about herself, about what sex would feel like.
That night a girl's questions were answered.

~
NEXT CHAPTER: Country Musume antics!, more 5th gen worries!, the changing mind of Miki Fujimoto, Michiyo Heike drama!. Senior vs Junior and somewhere in between! Don't miss Chapter 15!
ALSO COMING: Hello! Project diaries volume 1. In My Dreams Volume 1.

Chapter 13: Dont we belong together?

2005-10-06T01:22:42Z

May 21th 2002 ~
"The second 'Folk Songs' album is coming out tomorrow, please be a good little bitch and buy it!!" someone screamed down the phone in happiness. Mari listened and nodded "Okay, you are very excited i understand, but its no reason to scream my ear off Sayaka" she said.
"Why not? you did it enough times to me when i was there!" Sayaka laughed. Mari rolled her eyes,
"dont worry Sayaka, the album will do fine, and the fact you worked on it with Yuko....." Mari trailed off as she thought about the sexy goddess, who had taken an instant liking to her as soon as she had joined the Hello! Pro. "Yes yes, your in love with Yuko we all know, just make sure you have a listen to the album, i'm not actually on it, i was on the first one but i dont know why they didnt invite me back this time..." Sayaka sighed.
"I am not in love with Yuko!" Mari shouted, Makoto, who was luckily the only one within earshot, put a finger to her mouth to signal Mari to quiet down or someone would hear her. Mari's eyes went wide and hissed down the phone "i am in love with Kaori! not Yuko!". Sayaka rolled her eyes as the constant denial continued.
~
Aya Matsuura was dancing in her room, final rehearsals for her new single that would be released in approximately 4 days, she REALLY liked this one, she liked all her songs, but this one was so happy and joyous that nothing could make her feel down. "YEAH MECCHA HOLIDAY!" she sang at the top of her lungs. In next doors room, the music almost instantly went up, Aya stopped and went out of her dressing room to the next one, and knocked on the door. "Coming!!" a voice shouted over the music as the music turned down and the door was opened. "Matsuura-san!" Miki exclaimed, "whats the matter?"
"Can it Mikitty!" Aya exclaimed "call me Aya for crumbs sake!, and whats the deal? i was trying to rehearse but you keep turning up the music!"
"well, i am trying to learn lines for my new single, and i cant concentrate when your beautiful voice is coming through the walls" Miki said flatly. Aya was surprised.
"aww! your such a sweetheart!, alright, ill go rehearse in the dance hall" she said, then leaning forward and giving Miki a kiss on the cheek. Miki smiled, even though she liked Aya, a LOT, it didnt seem to bother her at all, and she could see them becoming good friends.
~
The making of the first Minimoni album was underway, The 4 stood in the studio, even with a little bit of tension because of the known fact that Mari was to graduate soon, and not from her own accord. Songs were recorded and fun was had, but it was a little bit hidden, their real feelings towards seeing Yaguchi graduate, as she was the one who had the idea for Minimoni in the first place. Mari had a smile on her face though, so the other 3 were lightened.
~
Hitomi sat in her room, learning lines from various songs and singing along with the backtrack that Tsunku always gave them. She sang sadly, thinking how could anyone know what she was going through, there was a knock at the door, and she quickly put the lolly snake she was eating under her pillow and fixed her messy hair "come in?" she asked, wondering who could want to talk to her in this state. It was Kaori.
"Whats the matter Yossi? wheres that happy face we are so used to seeing?" she said, shutting the door and sitting on the bed. Hitomi sighed "how can i be happy when i look like this?" she said, poking at herself. "Like what?" Kaori tilted her head.
"Like fat!!" Hitomi exclaimed, almost bursting into tears. Kaori came closer and hugged her, Hitomi almost felt better just from smelling Kaori's divine scent. "Its okay, lots of teenagers go through this, its just the hormones, you'll be alright" she soothed her, stroking her hair. Hitomi breathed deeply, she always felt better when Kaori was around her. She was like a best friend who always knew what to do.
Hitomi hoped that these feelings that were made to be forbidden, were also part of her hormones.
~
Maki had announced her graduation to her parents and family, who were all extremely proud of her, and had wished her the best for her solo career. Maki felt on top of the world. Until she opened the door of the Morning Musume house and saw Natsumi sitting in the kitchen, drinking what seemed to be iced tea, and laughing her head off. Maki crept up the side and saw Rika standing in front of Natsumi making all these really silly faces, Rika was always really good at that. "SO, Nacchi, what do you want me to do now?" Rika asked, Natsumi thought for a moment, "Maki, pretend to be Maki!". Maki's heart lept almost out of her chest. Rika smiled and nodded, "Okay! here's 'Goto Maki desu!'" Rika put her hand to her head like a salute, which was one of Maki's trademarks, then she started singing 'Ai no Bakayarou' not very well mind you, but she was doing the hand movements and the dance almost to a T. Maki blushed deep red and walked away, almost in tears, was she really that predictable?, and why did Natsumi want to make fun of her?
~
The 5th Generation sat in a circle, playing a clapping game that Risa was absolutely pro at. Tsunku came around the corner and almost laughed at them, when he had a brilliant idea, in the new Morning Musume single, he had planned for all 4 of them to get lines, but he couldnt quite put together who got what. So he asked them. "Gokkies!" he exclaimed "how would you like to play a game for the lines to the new single?" they all stood up from the ground and nodded excitedly. Tsunku put his hands behind his back and put his ring in one of them. "Whichever 2 can pick the ring get lead with Maki and Natsumi!" It was an absolutely pointless game, because he suddenly knew who he wanted to be lead, he just wanted to make sure, so when Risa and Makoto chose, the ring wasnt there, but when Ai and Asami chose, the ring 'magically' appeared. "Done! Please come to my office a little bit later to get the updated lyrics to the new song!" he almost skipped away. Asami and Ai were rapt. "we get to be second lead!! that is SO cool!" Makoto and Risa stood there with hands on hips.
"That game was so rigged, youd have to be dumb as a cat not to realize that" Makoto exclaimed.
"word" agreed Risa as they walked away.
~
Yuko stood in her dressing room, waiting, when Kei fluttered in and shut the door, "I have to graduate from morning musume because they saw me kissing you and they dont want anyone like that in the group but dont worry because you dont get in trouble because they dont know it was you and lucky for me i get to stay in the hello! project, albeit probably not doing anything but still....."
"WHOAH! talk slower!" Yuko exclaimed, even though she had heard everything, and she really wasnt that surprised. "Its okay, we will just have to hide it better" Yuko whispered, pulling a strand of hair from Kei's face, "we arent stopping for anything, okay?" she said. Kei nodded, almost sniffling, Yuko leaned in and kissed her softly. "Its okay, once youve graduated they wont care what you do, believe me" she sighed. "Now lets get started on this" Yuko pulled out a piece of paper, they were planning on writing a story, but it really wasnt getting anywhere. Distractions were keeping them from writing anything, and since they had spent so many years in the Hello! Pro, where creativity wasnt really needed, as it was handed to you on a silver platter, it was proving to be quite difficult.
~
Tsunku had made a rash quick decision that could cost him, but he was sure that it was needed.
~
A little girl, with pigtails, around the age of 12, was sitting on the floor of the loungeroom, watching the tv, when an advert came up. "Morning Musume Audition 2002! Do you love to sing and dance? do you think youve got what it takes to be a star? come along and try out! Auditions open September!" She sat right up and thought 'right, i am going to do that!' "Mummy! I am going to audition for morning musume!" she shouted. Her mum, who was trying to clean the oven of cheese stains at the time, shouted back "you sure sweetheart? you cant really sing can you?". The girl rolled her eyes, she was determined,
"ill just keep practising!" she said as she ran upstairs to the computer to fill out an application.
~
Kei stood in front of the whole Hello! Project, almost in tears, but swallowing them back to save face. "I-I have decided to graduate from Morning Musume, for.....personal reasons, mainly the fact that i am sick of my private life being on show" she said, gaining confidence. Then walking away from the microphone and plonking herself down on a seat near the back. Tsunku then took the stand, "Big news, but Yasuda-san will not be graduating until next year, May 2003. Until then, i have more news, Morning Musume 6th Generation auditions will be held in September, i plan on choosing 3 new girls, so be prepared Gokkies, you're soon to be sempai's" he said. Morning Musume was in shock. Hitomi didnt really take much notice, but she turned around and saw Makoto staring at her, she held her gaze for what seemed like an eternity, then looked away. "This is hell" Makoto said, her heart beating like a drum. Risa put an arm around her and whispered in her ear "you know why its hell? because i think she likes you too, but she cant handle it, give it some time and your dreams will come true" she nodded as Makoto looked at her.
The meeting was ajourned, and Ai grabbed Risa's hand, "LETS get some soft cream!!" she shouted, "YAAAY" Risa shouted back, and they ran down the hall skipping for Ice cream.
~
What will happen with Miki and Aya? Is Mari and Kaori's relationship on the rocks? Yuko explains something very important to Hitomi, Preperations for Maki's graduation go awry!
dont miss chapter 14! coming soon!

Chapter 12b: Suspicious Minds

2005-06-14T05:18:16Z

May 8th - May 9th 2002 ~ Midnight ~
"That dinner was sooo good" Kei patted her stomach, "im still kind of full" she said, nodding with satisfaction. Yuko glanced at her as they sat and watched the stars on the balcony of a nearby hotel. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it, "Yuu-chan!! What are you doing! thats disgusting!" Kei exclaimed, Yuko shrugged. "I hardly ever do it, its just once in a blue moon" she replied. Kei shook her head,
"well that blue moon is not going to be tonight" she said as she pulled the smoke from Yuko's mouth and threw it off the roof of the balcony. Yuko rolled her eyes, but Kei drew herself closer and pushed a strand of hair back from Yuko's face, "if you smoked too often, you wouldnt get much of this" she said huskily as she drew her face closer and kissed her.
~
a cigarette came flying down and hit one of the men dressed in black, in the cheek, he was about to scream out when his friend cupped him over the mouth. "SHHH, if they hear you, we'll be in deep shit" he said, taking out his digital camera, zooming in on the 2 women on the balcony, and taking snap after snap of silent photo's. "you realize how much we will be paid for this?" he said, almost drooling at the thought of the money.
~
May 9th ~ 8:30am
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" a bloodcurdling wail came from the dressing room of minimoni, where the 4 were getting ready for a performance, "my hair is caught on the button!!! get it off get it off!" Mari screamed. Mika stopped Mari running around, and pulled the hair from the button simply.
"there, now stop whinging!" she said. Mari pouted, and as finishing touches were made, Minimoni went out for their performance.
~
"SUGOI, minimoni are soooo awesome!" Airi said, Chisato nodded, the Hello! Project kids were in rehearsal for the upcoming Hello! Project concert, as they were a lot younger and a lot less experienced, the rehearsal time took twice as long. "Stop watching that TV and get over here!" Mayumi yelled at them, Airi sighed and turned off the mini-television. "Now, i want you all in height order" she said.
"why?!" gasped Maasa,
"because, it will make it a lot easier to see who will be in front and back and etc, now do it!" she said firmly. Maasa stood at the very far right, as she was the tallest and she knew it, and all the way down the bottom was Mai. "aww, no fair, just coz im little" she said in an almost sarcastic mode for a 6 year old, they all laughed. Mayumi went through the routine slowly, and some of them were picking up the dance routines far better then the rest of them, Risako was absolutely amazing for such a young girl, her voice trainer had said the exact same things about her, and Miyabi was not far behind, putting everything into trying her very hardest. "Okay girls, i want the shorties in front, Shimizu, Nakashima, Hagiwara, Okai, Suzuki, Tsugunaga, you get in front please" then she went through the routine time and time again. These kids were going to be outstanding when they get to the right age, Mayumi thought to herself.
~
12:30pm
"Boss, Tsunku!!" a man called after him as he was walking down the hall of the recording studio. "we have some shots you really should consider taking a look at" they gasped. Tsunku nodded and led them into his office. "You were right, Yasuda IS seeing someone, but...." they handed over the shots and Tsunku's eyes went wide. "shes seeing...a woman?!!" he was angry, but yet extremely confused. "who is the woman?" he asked. The men shrugged, "we dont know, we couldnt make her out". Tsunku shrugged,
"well it doesnt matter anyway, theres no way i can keep her around now" he said, happy that he finally had a good reason to graduate her, he had been wanting to for a time anyway. He tapped into the microphone of his office, it made him feel a little bit like a principal at a public school, but he didnt care, "Yasuda to my office, now" he said sternly.
Kei looked up at the PA system and shrugged, "i wonder what he wants from me now?" she asked as she walked swiftly to his office, he let her in and slammed the door behind her.
"sit" he said sternly as she did so. He threw the photo's down in front of her.
"what is this, WHAT is this?" he said, Kei's eyes grew wide as she looked at the photo's of her and Nakazawa kissing. "where did you get these? have you been spying on me?" she hissed at him. He sat down and pulled her chair close to him, "and why dont i have the right?" he whispered with spite. She shook her head and looked away, "no reason" she sighed.
"I will create a graduation date for you" he said with a blank face, "and you will follow through with it, and i will tell you what to tell the others, if you dont"....he paused....."i will release these photo's to the press" he said in a tone that means 'this is final'.
"Yes" is all Kei could make herself say, before she could feel her eyes welling up, she left the room and ran to the bathroom, but before she got there she was already hysterically crying, her make-up was ruined and they had a performance in 20 minutes.
~
12:50pm
Kaori was running around frantically trying to find Kei, "we have a performance! for christs sake!" she yelled, until she ran past the toilet and she overheard someone muttering to themselves. "Kei?"
"Kaorin?" she heard back. Kaori walked in there and saw Kei standing at the sink, blotting mascara off her cheeks, "my god! whats the matter?" Kaori said, walking in and giving her a hug.
"oh, nevermind, but, i dont think i can do this performance, can you fill my lines for me?" she said, blowing her nose, and then whispering "its not like i have many lines anyway". Kaori was not used to Kei being down, so she nodded slowly and backed away. Natsumi and Aibon also were running past the toilets when they heard someone crying. They didnt have time to hear who it was though.
The performance went on without Kei, she sat in the cubicle and calmed herself down until she could put on a happy face for everything.
~
Tsunku sat in his office watching the performance on the monitor, Kei wasnt in it, he wasnt expecting her to be, after the bombshell he had just dropped on her. He held the pictures in his hand, wanting to rip them up, but instead, he calmly opened up a file under his desk that said "top secret" and put the photo's in there, photo's that included Atsuko Inaba, Danielle Delauney, Michiyo Heike and Chinatsu Miyoshi.
"this cannot keep happening" he growled under his breath.
~
May 10th ~ 2002 - 11:30pm
Rehearsals for shuffles were in process, Happy 7, Sexy 8 and Odoru 11 were all in different rooms, Risa had lead lines in the Happy 7 song, and was very shocked that she had more lines and face-time then fellow 7-ers Ai Takahashi and Ai Kago. Sexy 8 were having their first dress rehearsal, and Hitomi looked at herself in the mirror and poked her tongue out at herself, "Yuck, this looks gross" she said, Masae walked behind her and rolled her eyes "oh shut up, you look great, sexy" she said, slapping her on the butt. Hitomi's eyes went wide, but she wasnt that shocked, everyone knows Masae as a big flirt. Odoru 11 were in full dress and having last minute changes to the choreography. Kei was flat and sad, but she didn't let her friends see her secret shame, although Kaori knew something was wrong. She didnt want to say anything.
Hitomi was going to the bathroom and passed Makoto in the hall, Makoto stared at her with big, sad eyes, Hitomi looked away, and Makoto ran off, but she could still smell the sweet fragrance that Hitomi wore. A mixture of flowers and pheromones, it made Makoto's head spin a little bit.
Makoto got back to the dance room, and sat on the ground, Risa ran up to her, "Mako-chan!! are you okay?" Makoto nodded, "i'll be okay, its just...you know" Risa nodded, and kissed Makoto on the forehead.
"you'll be okay, i'll always be here for you" Risa said, giving her a heart felt hug.
~

Chapter 13 will NOT be as far away!

Chapter 12a: Why Why Why

2005-04-24T08:21:18Z

May 8th 2002~ Continued~
"huh?" Hitomi looked at Makoto, whose head was tilted down, she looked so sad.
"I shouldn't have said anything" Makoto said quietly and stood up and left the room before Hitomi had a chance to answer. Hitomi stared at the shut door after Makoto and sighed, how could she like me?, she thought to herself.
~
Dance rehearsals had finished for 1st, 2nd and 3rd gen, "get 4th and 5th in here please" Mayumi barked after them. Risa was skipping down the hall when she saw Maki, "hey Gaki-san, can you get 4th and 5th gen to the dance studio please? its time for your dance rehearsals" she smiled. Risa beamed,
"of course Goto-san" she said bowing slightly at her, as she skipped over to get Airin, her best friend of late, "Aiiiiii-chan!" she said, opening the door to the dressing room, "its time to daaanceee" she droned. Airin looked at her googly eyed, and then made a kissy face at her. Risa laughed, and they went off to fetch the rest of the girls.
~
"okay, do it again, and this time i'd like it good!" Mayumi raised her voice slightly to Makoto, amazingly, Risa and Asami werent having too many troubles today, it was Makoto, who was known as the best dancer in the 5th gen, who was having problems. "whats wrong Ogawa? usually you are peppy as anything, but today your flat as a tack!" Mayumi marvelled. Makoto looked up at her,
"im sorry sensei, its just been a long day" she said. Mayumi stood in front of the girls and took them through the dance for 'Dekkai Uchuu ni Ai ga Aru' again, that would be performed at the upcoming concerts.
Risa and Airin collapsed in giggles at the end of the routine, "your face was hilarious!!" Airin exclaimed. Asami looked over at them and smiled, they had gotten on so well from the day they were picked.
She felt a little left out, but she was sure it would pass.
~
Yuko sat in the computer room at the Morning Musume house, it was known even if someone had graduated, they were allowed to stay there to use the facilities during the day. Yuko was typing up a poem, she loved to write, for some reason she found it impossible to write songs though. Suddenly, her mobile rang, "yes?" she answered, "hello hello! i'm finished dance practice, you want to meet up tonight?" Yuko smiled,
"i'd love to, i'll pick you up outside the house at 7:30pm, is that okay?" she asked, she could hear Kei smiling on the other end, "that will be great, i will see you then, bye bye" she hung up.

Tsunku stood at the end of the corridoor, shes seeing someone, he thought to himself, he picked up his phone and rang a secret number, "i want you to follow wherever Yasuda goes tonight, and bring proof to me, NOT to the tabloids, no matter how much they offer you, ill double it, yes, thank you"
he hung up and smiled, no-one gets around his system. He turned and walked away.
~
Stay tuned for 12b!